Tagalog words of the day:
Lola - grandmother
Lolo - grandfather
Me. Totally me and my family. I felt like this article was written about my family and my experience. This just goes to show that, although every one's stories are unique in the specifics, we all have the same or similar overarching themes and storyline brought on by those who came before us.
My maternal grandparents came to America in the late 1970s to 1) Chase the "American Dream" and 2) Escape from the political strife that the Philippines was then under (the Marcos dictatorship; President Ferdinand Marcos, 1965-1986; placed the Philippines under Martial Law 1972-1981).
I have something to say about literally everything in Vergara's paper because I've experienced most of the exact same events and experiences that he describes. The only difference would probably be that I grew up in Union City, rather than Daly City.
On Betrayal and Class Fantasies
I would never betray my country. We have so much pride: pried rice, pried chicken, pried pork, pried pish! *ba-dump tschh* Haha...no? :')
Honestly, my family's life in the Philippines was good. On my trip back to the motherland this past winter break 2016, everyone was so happy. So full of a joy that felt so natural and pure. Something that I don't often feel here with my family in America. I don't think it was like that just because we were there to visit. It had always been like that. Life there, compared to here in America, felt so much more relaxed. Nothing was rushed and hectic - unless you were in Manila, where the traffic is just fantastic. Everyone here just seems more concerned about getting their next pay check so the bills will be paid on time. Why would anyone living in the Philippines want to move here? To me it's like downgrading because of the exchange rate and higher costs of living. Another thing I noticed was how much "cheaper" it was in the Philippines. We went on an all day island-hopping adventure with 16 people - 16 people who all fit in one 9-seater van - and I paid only at most $100 for the entire excursion (plus around $22 for food). I know, I know; it'd be a completely different story if I didn't come from America, but...
Do you see what I did there?
My trip to the Philippines made me realize this: we came to America to work hard. Really hard. Working multiple jobs, graveyard shifts, barely making ends meet hard. To save money, to get good education, to provide for our families here and back in the Philippines. We came to America to work hard so that one day we can go back to our home country where we don't have to work hard. But isn't that what we all aim to do anyway? Regardless of where you're from?
On Citizenship
I was born in the Philippines. We flew over here when I was 6 months old. I am not a U.S. citizen. Neither are my parents. Had they gotten their citizenship before I turned 18, then I'd be one automatically. I always wondered why they never applied for their citizenship sooner and there were many times when I was angry at them for not having done so. For one, traveling to other countries would have been so much easier - we wouldn't need to get visas. Another one, applying for colleges and other programs would require less paper work. Ugh, paperwork. I understand, of course, that obtaining your citizenship cost money. We didn't have much money when we first arrived so we couldn't afford to become citizens. We couldn't afford to become citizens. Doesn't that sound so messed up? The Application for *Naturalization filing fee is $725 as of December 23, 2016 (USCIS.gov/n-400). With the U.S.'s current presidential administration, I probably should get *naturalized as soon as possible. As if my home country's president is any less...controversial. Second-class citizenship? I can't even claim second class citizenship since I'm not one - so what does that make me?
*Naturalization - I just find this such a weird term to use to mean "to become a citizen". "I am in the process of becoming naturalized." Am I unnatural? What's up with that?
On Language
I learned Tagalog before learning English. For that, I have my Lola to thank. When I was a wee little girl, amongst my many American-born-and-grown cousins, I was pretty much the only one who knew how to speak Tagalog (a lot of them could at least understand). Our aunts and uncles would praise me for it and I soaked it all in like a plant soaking in the sun for photosynthesis. Often I would hear my aunts and uncles say, "You should learn how to speak Tagalog..." to my other cousins. Often I would tell them afterward, "It's OK! As long as you can understand," because I did not want them to feel discouraged or put down for not knowing the language.
The availability and accessibility of Filipino media through the internet and television really helped me retain my abilities to continue to speak and understand the language. Music also is a huge contributor as well because I loved/love to sing and there would always be singing and dancing programs on TV that I watched on the daily.
Language is a key component of a culture. Understanding and communication.
On Filipinoness and Authenticity
My experiences are not authentic Filipinx experiences. If you want authentic Filipinx experiences, go live in the Philippines. Like Vergara said, the Filipinx culture we've created here is an imperfect mirror of the one in the Philippines. All this is relative, obviously. What I have experienced and am experiencing are typical, authentic Filipinx-American experiences.
These experiences are specifically for Filipino-Americans. Even more specifically for Californian FilAms from the Bay Area. This Bay Arean FilAm identity I can claim. And I think it is authentic.
How have I achieved Filipinoness? What have I been doing to be as Filipino as I can be? What have I been doing that deviates from my Filipinoness?
Watching The Filipino Channel really played a key role in developing my Filipinoness. On weekend mornings there would be children's programming and I watched and learned about Philippine history, language, and culture. Entertainment shows, game shows, talk shows, and news shows all provided me an idea and image of Filipino society and culture.
After reading the paper, I started to really feel the transnationalism that Vergara was talking about. It had never occurred to me before this sense of closeness despite being thousands of miles away. Thanks to the community that I grew up in, I got tastes and glimpses of what life could be like in the Philippines.
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