Chapter 6: Family, Culture, Gender: Narratives of Ethnic
Reconstruction
So much conflict of culture. How can the second generation uphold tradition while at the same time try to fit in to the new culture? I, for one, support maintaining cultural ties and tradition to the extent that it doesn't inhibit your ability to be open to new cultures, that you are not blinded by your own culture's archaic and strict ideals, that you are evolving the culture for the best while maintaining its integrity to stand on its own.
I relate a lot to the young Laotian women in their struggles to conform to society versus making their parents happy through adherence to tradition. Often, my parents would compare me to my cousins in the Philippines who cooked and did house work at young ages without their my aunts and uncles having to tell them what to do. I then often compared myself to my friends at school who didn't do that type of housework because they were out having fun, playing with their friends, going to the mall, eating out, watching movies, etc.. I understood the need to help my parents around the house with housework as something any good son or daughter should do, but as rebellious as I was then I ignored it.
My parents never really told me that I should marry another Filipino like me. I think they'd be happy as long as my partner is a good person and that we love each other. Then again, we never talked about that kind of thing haha. My aunts, on the other hand, would always ask me "Oh! Meron ka ng boyprend?" which is "Oh! Do you have a boyfriend yet?" I'd say No, of course not! They'd reply, "Mabuti naman! Magaral ka muna." or "Good! You should be studying first." And I found these interactions so perplexing, like, do you want me to have a boyfriend or do you want me to study? Sometimes, I like to mess with them and say "Oh yeah totally! I have like a 43 boyfriends." *insert B-) emoji* These exchanges never cease to entertain and annoy the heck out of me.
In my family, gender roles were more or less fulfilled. My sister was the oldest out of us siblings so, of course, despite her not being a boy, she had authority. My two older brothers came next and as the middle children, they did whatever they wanted with little to no retribution (except from my sister, who was very strict with them). Twelve years after my brother came I, so the pressure on them lessened even more as my parents had me to worry about. I acted according to my role as the youngest child AND as the only child who spent her entire life in America. My siblings spent 17, 16, and 13 years in the Philippines before we came to America so our childhoods were significantly different. My brothers were allowed to do pretty much whatever they wanted, while my sister took care of me. She was 17 when I was born and coming to America, my parents had to focus on getting jobs and restarting our lives, so my sister pretty much became a teen mom to help my parents out. She, to me, exemplifies sacrifice and I feel that the story of her life is the typical, first generation immigrant story. I'd write a biography on her.
What's the deal with parents wanting their children to marry into the same culture? I read an article once about hybrid variability in humans and found that people of mixed race are more likely to reproduce and are genetically healthier due to *insert complicated biological mechanisms here*. And there has been a general rise in families of mixed race around the world. Naturally, of course, we're just attracted to people who are similar to us; it's all biological, to be honest.
Anyway, maintenance of ethnic identity. Our love for our cultures and ancestral country, I think, is just something we're born with. As is said, you can take the girl away from her country but you can't take the country away from the girl...or something along those lines. I'm honestly just rambling here.
Film: "On Orientalism - Said"
In the film, Edward Said deconstructs the distorted, phobia-lizing portrayal of Middle Eastern culture and people painted by popular media. He demystifies preconceived notions and perceptions of the Arab people, Islamic religion, and orientalism in general.
One of the questions that popped up in my mind is, in what ways are we participating in the demonization of Arab nations and people, without even knowing it? It's not that we do it on purpose, but rather, we do it unconsciously. Thanks to the society that we were raised in, the dominantly imposing views explicitly and implicitly influence our personal take on the world, whether we like it or not. But is resistance futile? How can we push efforts toward more accepting and kind world views? The news these days is littered with anti-Arab, Islamophobic stories; people getting extra attention at airport TSA's, people getting kicked off of flights because their turban is making someone else uncomfortable, even speaking another language is seen as threatening. Americans have become so paranoid, rightfully fearful for their lives and safety, but some reactions are so extreme that it's become overreactive and, for me at least, sometimes pose more of a threat than the original situation, or lack thereof in the first place.
People are inherently afraid of the unknown, they fear mystery, uncertainty; it's part of our nature - fight or flight. Well, it seems to me that people most often will choose flight - flight from understanding, flight from making the effort to learn more, gather more information on the unkonwn.
So much conflict of culture. How can the second generation uphold tradition while at the same time try to fit in to the new culture? I, for one, support maintaining cultural ties and tradition to the extent that it doesn't inhibit your ability to be open to new cultures, that you are not blinded by your own culture's archaic and strict ideals, that you are evolving the culture for the best while maintaining its integrity to stand on its own.
I relate a lot to the young Laotian women in their struggles to conform to society versus making their parents happy through adherence to tradition. Often, my parents would compare me to my cousins in the Philippines who cooked and did house work at young ages without their my aunts and uncles having to tell them what to do. I then often compared myself to my friends at school who didn't do that type of housework because they were out having fun, playing with their friends, going to the mall, eating out, watching movies, etc.. I understood the need to help my parents around the house with housework as something any good son or daughter should do, but as rebellious as I was then I ignored it.
My parents never really told me that I should marry another Filipino like me. I think they'd be happy as long as my partner is a good person and that we love each other. Then again, we never talked about that kind of thing haha. My aunts, on the other hand, would always ask me "Oh! Meron ka ng boyprend?" which is "Oh! Do you have a boyfriend yet?" I'd say No, of course not! They'd reply, "Mabuti naman! Magaral ka muna." or "Good! You should be studying first." And I found these interactions so perplexing, like, do you want me to have a boyfriend or do you want me to study? Sometimes, I like to mess with them and say "Oh yeah totally! I have like a 43 boyfriends." *insert B-) emoji* These exchanges never cease to entertain and annoy the heck out of me.
In my family, gender roles were more or less fulfilled. My sister was the oldest out of us siblings so, of course, despite her not being a boy, she had authority. My two older brothers came next and as the middle children, they did whatever they wanted with little to no retribution (except from my sister, who was very strict with them). Twelve years after my brother came I, so the pressure on them lessened even more as my parents had me to worry about. I acted according to my role as the youngest child AND as the only child who spent her entire life in America. My siblings spent 17, 16, and 13 years in the Philippines before we came to America so our childhoods were significantly different. My brothers were allowed to do pretty much whatever they wanted, while my sister took care of me. She was 17 when I was born and coming to America, my parents had to focus on getting jobs and restarting our lives, so my sister pretty much became a teen mom to help my parents out. She, to me, exemplifies sacrifice and I feel that the story of her life is the typical, first generation immigrant story. I'd write a biography on her.
What's the deal with parents wanting their children to marry into the same culture? I read an article once about hybrid variability in humans and found that people of mixed race are more likely to reproduce and are genetically healthier due to *insert complicated biological mechanisms here*. And there has been a general rise in families of mixed race around the world. Naturally, of course, we're just attracted to people who are similar to us; it's all biological, to be honest.
Anyway, maintenance of ethnic identity. Our love for our cultures and ancestral country, I think, is just something we're born with. As is said, you can take the girl away from her country but you can't take the country away from the girl...or something along those lines. I'm honestly just rambling here.
Film: "On Orientalism - Said"
In the film, Edward Said deconstructs the distorted, phobia-lizing portrayal of Middle Eastern culture and people painted by popular media. He demystifies preconceived notions and perceptions of the Arab people, Islamic religion, and orientalism in general.
One of the questions that popped up in my mind is, in what ways are we participating in the demonization of Arab nations and people, without even knowing it? It's not that we do it on purpose, but rather, we do it unconsciously. Thanks to the society that we were raised in, the dominantly imposing views explicitly and implicitly influence our personal take on the world, whether we like it or not. But is resistance futile? How can we push efforts toward more accepting and kind world views? The news these days is littered with anti-Arab, Islamophobic stories; people getting extra attention at airport TSA's, people getting kicked off of flights because their turban is making someone else uncomfortable, even speaking another language is seen as threatening. Americans have become so paranoid, rightfully fearful for their lives and safety, but some reactions are so extreme that it's become overreactive and, for me at least, sometimes pose more of a threat than the original situation, or lack thereof in the first place.
People are inherently afraid of the unknown, they fear mystery, uncertainty; it's part of our nature - fight or flight. Well, it seems to me that people most often will choose flight - flight from understanding, flight from making the effort to learn more, gather more information on the unkonwn.
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